Happy Birthday to my Angel Baby

Two years ago I gave birth to an angel. I know, I know - doesn't every mom say that about her child? Seriously though, hear me out.

So, according to the doctor, the tumor in my breast has been growing for somewhere between five and seven years (crazy thought, huh?) I suppose that pesky thing could've started growing right when hubby and I decided it was time to make a baby. It took us a while (like 3 months) to get pregnant and the first time it happened I had a miscarriage. So, then we tried again and - again - it took a little while (another 3 months or so). Needless to say, when the second time "stuck" we were thrilled!

My pregnancy with Z was kinda rough. Blood tests hinted that he could have down syndrome and we spent a stressful month or so fretting about how to handle everything. I couldn't eat. I had horrible heartburn. I couldn't sleep. He woke me up every night in my last trimester because he'd get hiccups (although that was pretty darn cute.) I had nerve trouble and awful back pain. I was a miserable mess. I'd glare at women who "love being pregnant", as if they came from a different planet. I certainly did NOT love being pregnant.

Then, he was born. A bad pregnancy was only the beginning... his birth was even worse. We had complications and more stressful times ensued. He must've sensed it all because the first 3 days of his life he screamed. On day two, hubby and I looked at each other and said, "what have we done?"

So, from day one - even before day one - Z has been fiery. He walked at nine months, ran at ten months, climbed on top of tables/chairs/couches at 11 months. He has an opinion about everything and is not afraid to tell you. He's demanding and persistent and emotional. Quite simply, he overwhelms me. However, with all that maintenance comes the most sensitive and loving child. He has a big personality all around.

It took a long time to decide whether or not to have a second child. Seriously. We thought having one Z would be enough to last a lifetime. At some point though, we rationalized that Z needed a playmate and we simply HAD to have another child just for him.

Pregnancy with C was a breeze. I loved food. I had no trouble sleeping. I glowed like those other mothers. I cherished all those prego moments when people give you unsolicited advice. Other than him constantly kicking my bladder, it was not a bad go.  C's birth was also easier- even though he was four days late. As soon as hard labor started, he was out in two minutes. The doctors, nurses, hubby and I were all amazed at how fast and easy it was.

It was at that moment - two years ago today - that I met my baby angel. When they held him up, there was even a light behind his head. I really thought he was the most angelic thing I had ever seen.

My angel baby turned out to be a mellow, happy baby, too. He slept, he ate, he smiled. At that time, Z was nearly 3 and running wild - fighting us on everything. I started wondering why I even became a parent, but then I'd look over at my angel baby and everything was right in the world. The fact of the matter is that C balances my entire family - emotional bunch that we are - and I think he came into our lives for that very reason.

Lucky for me, Z is turning into an incredible little boy. He's so very sensitive to his world and is in tune with what we're going through as a family. He's constantly telling me he loves me. He offers me his loveys. He's an amazing little human being. C is still my angel baby but is now a 2 year old and finding his voice in our family. Guess I was given what I could handle or what I've needed at that moment - and at this moment - in my life.  I am blessed to have two very amazing, yet very different, children.

Happy Birthday, C! (Don't start acting like a 2 year old now that you are one, ok?)