Chemo, Round 6 - day 2

This is supposed to be my hardest day, but I'm still not feeling as bad as expected. Perhaps my body has gotten used to it?!? I do feel pretty yucky, but "pretty yucky" is better then feeling like death.

In the meantime, getting lots of rest and trying to drink plenty of fluids and eat. It's a chore. Good thing I have my faithful companion, Basco, here to keep me company (although he's snoring a bit too loudly!)

Can't believe I'm out of phase one of the treatment process and heading quickly into phase 2. Just chug-chug-chugging along. This will be over before we know it!! Can't wait.

Oh, yeah, and my hair should start growing back in four to six weeks- yay!

Chemo, Round 6- day 1

It's the calm before the storm. It happens every time and every time, I tell myself, "maybe it won't be so bad this time". I wish. I know it's coming. I can feel it. It's not here yet...

In the meantime, finished up some errands and am hanging out with the family.

Have I mentioned that my brother got married this past weekend? So happy for him! Here I am sporting my most favorite, "normal" wig. My alter ego that day was Roxie- on the dance floor, at least.

It was great to spend some time with my family who came in from out of town - Mama, Mike & Martha. I love them all so much.

Chemo, Round 6 - LAST ONE!!

YeHaw! Last chemo for me today!!

I woke up this morning with mixed emotions. Yes, it is my last chemo and I'm incredibly happy it's almost over. But, I'm also acutely aware of my new reality and it's never going to be the same as it was before - not that "same" is good, just that I've lost that youthful innocence that makes life more exciting.

Gonna be a tough week. Thankful to have help again via sister-in-law, Lisa. I'm incredibly blessed to have so many people who care coming into town to step in for me and my family. Love you guys SO MUCH!

On another note, the Infusion Room is ROCKING today! Lots of napping old timers around me. And, I think the Cookie Lady has a crush on the old man next to me, she's offered him cookies twice and me NONE. Hmmmm.... gonna have to do something about that.

Round 5, Day 3 - chemo

Hmmm.... let's see. What did I do yesterday? Oh yeah. Sleep. Pretty much all day. Except for the time it took us to go to Denver to meet up with the girls and snap this photo:

The Denver walkers raised nearly $1.5M for breast cancer! Thank you Tracy and Cyndi for your 3 day sacrifice, for the blood blisters, the lack of sleep, the heat and just for being you. I love you guys.

Round 5, Day 2 - chemo

Holy nausea. Woke up at 1:30 am - almost exactly 36 hours post infusion - feeling VERY sick. UGH! Still feeling pretty bad. BUT... I know this will pass soon. I gotta pull through this morning so I can meet the girls down in Denver this afternoon to cheer them on for finishing the 60 mile walk. My pink wig is prepped and ready to go! Stay tuned.

Round 5, day 2 - chemo

Woke up this morning feeling better than expected. I was able to go to acupuncture twice - once before treatment and once directly after - and I think going 2 times may be making this time a little easier so far. I'm also forcing myself to drink more water. Of course, it hasn't been 24 hours yet and that's when it really hits. We'll see. One moment at a time.

**Thank you to Hookie for dinner last night - yum!**

Round 5 - chemo

8 Days post chemo

It's Tuesday- 8 days past my last chemo and  I woke up this morning feeling somewhat normal. Got a good night sleep last night - finally! - and I think I'm almost rehydrated. So, this means I really am 2/3 through (now that I'm past the hardest part). Whew.

We got the boys their passport photos and started the application so that we really can go to Mexico. Oh my goodness, I cannot wait. I know it's still about 10 months away, but I must have something to look forward to.

Now I need to get myself all caught up at work and I'll feel pretty good about things.

GO TEAM TUCKER!

-I'm such a dork :)

Round four, day 4 or is it 5?

Chemo is not fun.

Thank goodness my dear friend is here to help. How in the world do people survive this without a support system?

Liver update

Went in for the CT scan and additional blood tests for the elevated enzymes in my liver today. CT scan came back fine and blood levels were still high. The good thing is that there is no suspicion of cancer in my liver, the not as good thing is that he's not really sure why the enzymes were high.

So - I can't do anything that will "stress" my liver (no wine) and I need to come back next week for more blood tests. (The Dr. did call me this afternoon to say that it "could" be b/c of some antibiotics I was on earlier this week. We'll see.)

Having BFF Tasha here has been fabulous, the boys love her. Not to mention, I can't seem to do anything... been a rough day.

*Thank you to Mark & Kati for dinner... yum.**

Round four, day 2- Chemo

Not a great start to the day, started off with stomach issues. BLAH!

Also, got a call from the Dr. yesterday and the enzyme levels of my liver came back extremely high, so I need to go back today for them to retest. Means I can't eat much today and now I'm nauseous. My appt is at 1:30... until then I'm sipping on some delicious Barium Sulfate. yum.

Anyway, keep me in your thoughts today for the CT Scan and that this is nothing major. Stupid cancer. (Or stupid me for drinking at the wedding last weekend).

And so the countdown begins.

One week until my fourth chemo treatment. The good news: I'm over halfway! The less than good news: I still have three more treatments. However, in a short eight weeks, I'll be finished.

I miss my hair. I miss having energy. I miss being "normal". Damn it, why did I have to get breast cancer. Please, ladies, GET YOUR MAMMOGRAMS! If I had figured this out five years ago, it would've been surgery and done (I'm assuming).

**Today I am thankful for a four year old who suddenly enjoys making his bed everyday. **

Round 3, Day 5 - chemo

Feeling much better today. MUCH.

Of course, that didn't keep me from almost vomiting when I groggily stumbled to the bathroom this morning and stepped on a dead mouse..... a dead, wet mouse. Ella was sucking on it like a popsicle last night and left it there for us. Lovely.

Off to acupuncture, then work today.

Thank goodness I'm almost past the rough part of round 3.

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

Still can't believe I have cancer.

Round 3, Day 4- Chemo

This is definitely getting harder. Acupuncture was canceled AGAIN, so I was unable to get it after treatment, I am scheduled to get it tomorrow- too late? we'll see. Feeling the way I've felt this weekend truly proves that acupuncture helps. I'm tripling up on treatments next round!

Met with a nutritionist yesterday. She reminded me to be gentle on myself (as many of you have also reminded me) and to eat what I can eat. It's better to gain weight than to lose weight right now and once treatment is over we can talk about a better eating plan. I was scared she'd tell me I couldn't have three very important things in my current diet; wine, chocolate and pickles... but she didn't, whew! Of course, it's always the old adage, "everything in moderation" and I'm ok with that!

Thank you again to Greg Macchia and Clean Conscience for cleaning our house through the Cleaning for a Reason Program. They cleaned our house again yesterday and it is SO helpful! I've been sleeping for four days and hubby is getting backed up on house chores.

ALSO, a big thank you to Aimee & Ben, Mindi & Pedro, Kati & Mark, Kristen and everyone else for your words of inspiration.... I can't tell you how much it means to us right now. 

I love this quote via Ali S.,  “Feeling important makes one heavy, clumsy and vain. To be a warrior one needs to be light and fluid.” -- Carlos Castaneda

**Today I am thankful to have enough energy to get my booty to work**  

Dear Cancer,

I appreciate the fact that you have taken up residence in my boob and that in the five to seven years you've been hanging out you've probably gotten pretty comfortable. But, I'm here to tell you that you are NOT welcome anymore!

It is making me so angry that you won't just get out of there on your own, and I have had to resort to being injected with horrifying drugs just to kill you off. Those drugs are not fun for me AND they've made me bald, chunky and pasty- I feel like a used car salesman from 1983. Can't we just call a truce- you leave, so I can stop taking these meds? This last round is kicking my bottom, and I really want to be normal again. Please leave.

If you choose to ignore my urgent plea, then I'll be forced to go all out on you. You'll be so hard hit you won't know what happened. I am a WARRIOR, after all. And, even though I'm a little tired at the moment, I still know how to muster up some of my southern redneck blood and kick some butt. You have the choice: make this easy on yourself and leave or start writing your tombstone. I'll be checking in next week to see what you've decided.

Sincerely,

Susan C. Tucker

What day is it again?

Umm... it's Sunday... I think. I'm walking in a chemo-induced fog with a slight hint of nausea and little desire to eat. We were able to go for a nice swim this morning at my brother's pool, so that was nice. Usually this is the worst day, so I'm looking forward to pulling out of this by next week.

Tomorrow I (finally) meet with the nutritionist and also have acupuncture.

**Today I am thankful for family and friends who have stepped up to allow me to take the time I need to become healthy**

Round 3, Day 2- chemo

Ugh! It's HOT! This is making me even more drowsy than normal at this point in the process... plus I wasn't able to get acupuncture yesterday and I'm feeling a little more nauseous than I did last time. I will be getting acupuncture on Monday AND Wednesday of next week, so that should help.

I was able to get in not one, but TWO walks today. I took Caleb to the park this morning - and he enthusiastically pointed out EVERY basketball net, hole and tunnel along the way - it was a nice outting. Then, I went to the RMCC to get my Neulasta shot, and was able to walk home. The Dr. would be proud of me.

Hubby is taking the boys on a swim date later with our friends the Karsted's, so I'll have some down time this afternoon. I plan on reading, meditating, relaxing and empowering the cancer warrior within!

**Today I am thankful to NOT be puking, to having a small appetite and for air conditioning**

PS. Thanks Hilly B for the cool new hat!!

Round 2, Day 6 - Chemo

Having cancer has put a big ol' crimp in my life. I'm tired and not really sure what to talk to people about. Other than that, it's been a lovely Independence Day with the family and I'm looking forward to feeling better over the next few weeks.

By the way, have I mentioned that my friends/family are AWESOME? I'm sending a special shout out this week to: Mom, Dan, Mindi, Tasha, Sheila, Heidi, Hookie, the Tucker Srs, the Brunos and Heather Dana - and y'all know why. Thank you everyone for everything you're doing to help me cope. I love you guys!!

Round 2, Day 3 - Chemo

Wow! I have to say... I think that acupuncture really works! I feel so much better today than I did last time on this day. I'm a little tired and a little nauseas (sp?), but I'm able to eat and I don't have heart burn. Onward on my fight! One day at a time. It'll all be over before I know it.

Round 2, Day 2 - Chemo

I think the acupuncture really helped! I was able to eat my breakfast this time (thank you hubby for the yummy turkey sausage and pancakes!) and right now I'm at the office wearing yet another wig :)

I have an underlying "yucky" feeling, I can definitely feel my body working overtime to process all the chemicals that were pumped in and it makes me a little tired. But, that's ok- I'll work as much as I can then go home and take a nap - I'm thankful to have the freedom to do that.

1/3 way through... wohoo!

Onward!