I think too many people live in fear. I agree that life and many of the things that go along with it are quite scary. However, living in fear can paralyze you into NOT living at all. My philosophy is that life is short. Too short, really. And, there are so many amazing things out there to experience... if you live in fear, you're most likely not going to get to have those experiences. This article came to my in-box this morning and I thought I should share it:
6 Ways to Create a No-Fear Zone
Text by
Robin Fisher Roffer
In small doses, fear can be a great motivator. It can help us discover what we're capable of and how far we can go. However, an overload of fear can be paralyzing.
As the head of a brand-marketing agency, I've helped hundreds of clients reinvent themselves and have witnessed firsthand how fear prevents people from reaching their potential and enjoying their lives.
Whether you fear change, true love, imperfection, or pursuing your passion, to live in fear is essentially not to live.
How to fight it: Find a place I call the No-Fear Zone.
When we face our fears, we begin to see our true nature and life's purpose. Knowing what we can do in challenging moments helps us find the courage to move forward, no matter how scary things get.
Ask Yourself: What Am I Really Afraid Of?
To move past your fear, you first must identify it. I have a client who had a powerful spiritual message to share but was
afraid of public speaking. When I asked her to pinpoint the root of her fear, she said she worried people would think she was boasting by putting herself in the spotlight. So rather than having her write a motivational speech, which could be seen as a sales pitch, I asked her instead to compose an uplifting sermon. That simple assignment reframed her purpose and removed the fear.
When anxiety surfaces, try to describe the source of your distress. It could be something concrete, such as looming layoffs or relationship trouble. Or maybe it's less tangible -- say, failure, rejection, or the future and what it holds. Either way, the conscious act of naming your fear is the first step to making it manageable.
Put It in Perspective
What would happen if your fear came true? To get a grip on the potential fallout -- and see how it might not be a big deal after all -- walk yourself through this "fear tree" of questions.
First, describe the fear or problem. Ask, What's the worst possible outcome? Could it be reversed? Would you lose income? Would your family survive? Would it cause you or someone else bodily harm?
Could you ask for help? Would it be possible to repair or control the damage? What can you do today to protect yourself? When you think it through like that, you'll see that even if your worst fears come true, it won't be the end of the world.
Do What's in Your Power to Do
The fact is, we can't control the future or other people's behavior. But by focusing on what we can control -- our own actions -- we can help dispel our fear.
I tell my clients to take concrete steps to address whatever they're afraid of, and then let go of the outcome.
One client feared going home to visit her family, believing that inevitably there would be some kind of drama. I suggested she devise a getaway plan just in case things got challenging. By renting a car, she'd have an escape and wouldn't feel trapped and fearful.
I also asked her to write down everything she needed to accept about her family and the things she could change. She realized the only change she could make was from within and she couldn't judge or place blame; she had to love herself and love her family for who they are. Now when she goes home, her anxiety is lessened and she can actually focus on trying to enjoy her family.
Know When to Ask for Help
Most fears cannot be conquered alone. One of my most successful clients was getting burned out and bored running her thriving company all by herself. She worried that if something didn't change, her company would tank.
After nine years of doing it on her own, she asked her sister to become her business partner. Working with her sister gave her a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Turning her sole proprietorship into a family business renewed her passion and proved she could achieve a longtime goal of growing her company. By asking her sister for help, she found an ally in fearlessness. Allowing others -- family, friends, coaches, mentors -- to help you navigate life is like having an anchor in rough seas.
Practice Your ABCs: Action, Belief, Courage
The fearless among us overcome doubts by practicing what I call their "ABCs":
"A" stands for purposeful action, or just taking the plunge and doing what you've been afraid to do. You can always rehearse first: For example, before initiating a difficult work conversation, try role-playing with a friend.
"B" is for having belief in your own abilities. Fear loses its power when confronted with a positive mind-set. Use positivity to act "as if" everything is all right, and soon it will be.
"C" stands for the courage that comes from remembering that if you've succeeded before, you can do so again. And chances are, you have succeeded before.
A client of mine had a fear of never being good enough at her job as a mediator. When I asked what her track record of cases was, she said she had a 98 percent success rate. I wrote "98 percent" on a white board and told her what that meant: She was an "A" student.
Because she always focused on the other 2 percent, she never saw herself in that way. But from this exercise, she realized her fear of being a failure was intellectually unfounded. By focusing on her winning record, my client now espouses well-earned confidence.
Try it yourself: Make a mental list of all the right moves you've made in the past. Acknowledging your own success will give you the courage for your next fearless act.
Be Your Authentic Self
One of the most common fears is the fear of simply being ourselves, especially when we end up in unfamiliar or uncomfortable situations -- when we're "fish out of water." Thus, many of us tend to shy away from the attention that may come from being different.
As a result, we try to hide who we truly are. We don't want to stand out, so we may find ourselves doing everything possible to stamp out our individuality in favor of conformity. We then wind up projecting an image we assume, and hope, will please others.
That's one road you can choose to travel when you're feeling out of place. The other is to celebrate who you are without apology.
Let's face it, no one wants to be rejected. And yet, think about the people you truly admire in this world. Without a doubt, they conduct their lives with authenticity and conviction, and to realize your full potential, you'll need to do the same.
Case in point: One of my clients rose to the top of a major corporation in large part due to her commitment to authenticity. As a Cuban-American, and a minority in her workplace, she worked her way up from customer-service rep to head of the company's global-diversity program.
She achieved this by getting a business degree, championing women, and expressing herself with standout personal style -- wearing colorful clothing rather than standard-issue dark suits. She succeeded not in spite of her differences but because of them.
Becoming comfortable in your own skin isn't easy. It takes practice. It takes tuning in to your inner voice and honoring it, asking yourself, "What if I just go for it? What if I just say what's on my mind?" And it takes trusting your intuition. With practice, authenticity will become your norm.
Let this be the year you find your passion and step into your personal power. If you follow these six steps, you will be well on your way to unearthing the real you and reaching your next peak -- fearlessly.
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